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| David Fox as Ned in the Grand Theatre production of Ned Durango Comes to Big Oak. 1994. Photo by Robert C. Ragsdale. |
| ACT I SCENE ONE | |
| Time: The Present. May. | |
| Place: Millie's Cabin, a small restaurant owned and operated by Tom Shaw. | |
| The entrance to the restaurant is S.R.. U.C. is a lunch counter with four or five stools. Behind the counter are all of the usual accouterments of a restaurant. Coffee pots, glasses, cups, menu on the wall, etc.. Also behind the counter is a swinging door which leads to the kitchen. There are a few restaurant tables spread around the rest of the area. U.L. is a door which leads to the washrooms. S.L. is a door which leads upstairs to where Tom Shaw lives. On the wall next to the door is a telephone. Inside the front door S.R. is a coat rack. On the front door R. is an Open/Closed sign which is turned around so that the Open side is seen from inside the restaurant. On one wall of the restaurant hangs an autographed Gump Worsely goalie stick. | |
| AS THE SCENE OPENS TOM SHAW STANDS S.L.. HE IS TALKING ON THE PHONE. | |
| TOM: | Come on, Larry, give me a break, man. I'll pay you as soon as I can, you know that......I know I haven't paid you for last month yet, but it's been slow. But, hey, we're heading into tourist season now and things are gonna pick up.....Absolutely...Come on, Larry, how the hell am I gonna run a restaurant with no fresh produce?.....I can't get it somewhere else. I haven't got the money. I was counting on you to extend a little courtesy to a long-time customer huh?.....Come on, man.....All right, look All right. You know, that Gump Worsely goalie stick I've got?...I'll let you keep it until I get caught up.....A month maybe, and if I don't pay up in a month, the stick's yours.....Yeah, the Gumper really used it, whadya mean? I scored my first NHL goal against him while he was using it.....Yes, my only one, you prick, now come on, what d'ya say? Is it a deal?.....All right. But, hey I want it back as soon as I pay up, right?...Right?...All right. So, you'll deliver when?...Tomorrow?...Good. Good, yeah, thanks, Larry. We'll see you. (HE HANGS UP.) Thanks for nothin'. |
| (CATHERINE WINGER ENTERS. SHE IS A WOMAN IN HER MID-THIRTIES. SHE WEARS BUSINESS DRESS.) | |
| CATHERINE: | Morning, Tom. |
| TOM: | Sorry, Catherine. It's only seven o'clock. We're not open yet. |
| CATHERINE: | The door's open. |
| TOM: | The sign says closed. |
| CATHERINE: | Well, it wasn't locked. |
| TOM: | The sign doesn't say locked. It says closed. I know it may sound crazy, but when the sign says closed, and the door is closed, I'm closed. |
| CATHERINE: | Well, you should lock it too so people would know. |
| TOM: | People do know. You're the only one who doesn't know, Catherine. And if you must know, I left it unlocked for Orson, okay? So, if you want breakfast, come back in about a half an hour. |
| CATHERINE: | I don't want breakfast. I'm here on city business. (SHE TAKES OFF HER COAT AND HANGS IT UP.) |
| TOM: | Oh, an official visit. Well, Your Worship, I don't open for business of any kind for another half hour. |
| CATHERINE: | No, I think you'll be open for this business, Tom. Could I have a coffee please? |
| TOM: | Catherine? |
| CATHERINE: | Well, it's ready, isn't it? |
| TOM: | Jesus, you're a stubborn woman. |
| CATHERINE: | Thank you. |
| TOM: | So, what are you doing out so early? (HE POURS CATHERINE A COFFEE.) |
| CATHERINE: | I'm on my way to my menopause support group meeting. |
| TOM: | Menopause? You? |
| CATHERINE: | Oh, God, no. Not me. But, Lorraine Osterman is going through it. |
| TOM: | The artist? |
| CATHERINE: | Right, poor thing, and I understand she gives paintings to her close friends, so I thought if she thought we were going through the change together, well, how much closer can you get? But, God, I don't know why they meet first thing in the morning. I mean, these women are cranky enough without making them get up an hour earlier. You know, she asked me to pose nude in my office. |
| TOM: | What? Who did? |
| CATHERINE: | Lorraine Osterman. |
| TOM: | Pose nude? For a painting? |
| CATHERINE: | Yes. |
| TOM: | So, are you gonna do it? |
| CATHERINE: | I'm thinking about it. |
| TOM: | Catherine, I'm shocked. And titillated. |
| CATHERINE: | Well, what the hell? You only live once. |
| TOM: | Well, you know, some people might not like the idea of naked women frolicking in the mayor's office. |
| CATHERINE: | We wouldn't be frolicking. Just sitting. And we wouldn't be naked. Just me. |
| TOM: | Well, if you do start to frolic, call me. |
| copyright 1993 Norm Foster |
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